鈥淚t鈥檚 all about relationships.鈥�
You can find that quote on Facebook pages, corporate websites, cards, posters and bumper stickers. In the universe of public safety, 鈥淚t鈥檚 all about relationships鈥� is a truism 鈥� an obvious, self-evident truth that needs no proof.
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I鈥檝e written about the power of relationships in previous columns, describing the value of 鈥渨eak ties鈥� and the benefits of proactively getting to know your public safety partners before a crisis.
Building relationships is key to being an effective leader, and one way for leaders to build a supportive relationship with the frontline staff is by doing a ride-along or sit-along. People know you have administrative responsibilities, and they appreciate knowing that you鈥檙e approachable. An open-door policy is great.
Still, it鈥檚 complemented by leaders taking the initiative to walk through the open door into the ambulance garage, squad lot or communications center. By showing up, you demonstrate that you鈥檙e willing to come out of the office and meet your people where they are. They鈥檒l notice that you made it a priority that day to be with them, and they鈥檒l share their observations and experiences with their peers.
As I recounted in an interview with Mara Gottfried, reporter for the Saint Paul Pioneer Press, as a public safety chaplain, I used to tell employees, 鈥淚 don鈥檛 want to be an anonymous voice on the phone from an 800 number from five states away. If something happens, I want you to know who I am.鈥� The way for that to happen was to show up. I made it a point to ride along with ambulance crews and police officers, and sit with dispatchers, to get to know them and better understand the nature of their work. Those were some deep and rich conversations, and those relationships enhanced my work of following up after difficult calls.
Can providers trust you?
I particularly remember riding with an ambulance crew and telling the medic that I knew she鈥檇 recently been on a call that was potentially distressing. She acknowledged that, and then changed the subject and started asking about me. It was light and conversational, but focused:
- How long had I been doing this job? At that point, 12 years.
- Did I ride with crews very often? Yes.
- When was the last time I did a ride along? Last week.
- What were some of my hardest calls? I referred to a recent suicide call, a cardiac arrest and a situation where the family was very upset.
As her questions proceeded, I realized that she was assessing my credibility and ability to provide her with meaningful support.
Those are the same questions an EMT could be asking a supervisor or manager, the same questions a police officer might ask a sergeant or lieutenant. It鈥檚 a way of asking:
- How long has it been since you were on the street?
- How well do you really know what goes on out here?
- Can I trust you to understand the world I live in?
Apparently, I passed the test. After a pause, she told me about the call she had been on the previous week. It went OK as far as trauma calls go, but it was gut-wrenching. I was glad we had more than a half-hour drive to the hospital, because that gave her more time to talk. Our conversation ended at the hospital, because she and her partner needed to get the patient into the emergency department.
Riding in the ambulance, listening to her story, I had the privilege of giving her a safe place to process the activities that occur in the normal course of a job that sometimes carries a significant amount of emotional weight. It鈥檚 a professional relationship, with clear boundaries, which facilitates the depth.
On another occasion, I was riding in a squad car with a police officer doing routine rounds at the beginning of the night shift. It didn鈥檛 take long for the conversation to include stories of some of the officer鈥檚 early years, and the formative experiences that had stayed with him. Taking the time to build that relationship in the weeks and months prior to that night had created a context for that conversation to happen.
Building supportive relationships
Building supportive relationships sometimes happens fairly quickly, but usually takes time. It requires commitment, and a degree of vulnerability. If I鈥檓 serious about wanting the public safety professionals in my care to know who I am, and to trust me with their accounts of some sad calls, I have to meet them halfway. It really is all about relationships. I wouldn鈥檛 have it any other way.
